Learn About Me Challenge - Day Thirteen

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.

Ah, this should be interesting. It's a letter I actually plan to write.

First, some history...

I have a half-brother, from my mother's first marriage. He left home when I was only 1 yr old, and has since been in prison for most of my life. He briefly got out on parole, only to be caught stealing again, and sent back to a Federal Penitentiary. I don't have much to do with him, but he calls the house a lot to talk to Mom. He proceeds to give her grief over things that never happened, but he has made up to believe them in his head. Or at least, this is what my mother, and older sister who grew up with him say. I can believe that he has changed history in his mind, from the way he talks in the few letters he has sent me. Should I mention that he hates my guts? Even though I haven't ever done anything to him? I don't even really know him. I don't hate him, I don't know him well enough to hate him. I do hate how he treats Mom, though.

I'll even post his letter here, so you can see why I respond the way I do...
(yes, even with his punctuations and misspellings even though they make me cringe to type them out like that)

Sherri, Look here, I know you told that lie on me about my Bail... & your car! You & I know you lied. You can fool others but your not fooling me! And what happen to you putting out a garden this summer? What happen to you raising rabbits & chickens? Couldn't get off your lazy ass & do it, huh!! Not surprising. Mom's foot been hurting her & you got her climbing the stairs, or just stuck in the basement like a prisoner. Your a real piece of shit Sherri! You was probally behind mom's money disapearing she had. You knew her account number & all, you probally stole it for dope. You got lucky you didn't go to jail for leaving your kid in the car, I think they should take your kids from you, you leave them in the basement alone, you should be in the basement with them!! Anyway here's the deal, I don't claim you, & it'll be a cold day in hell before you win this one. You started something with me your not gonna win. I hate your guts, it is what it is. Tommy

So yeah, I would say that he is a person who has recently hurt me. His twisting of the truth, his flat out lies, his unfounded accusations, and base cruelty. He has so many things in this letter that are not based on fact. It hurts me that he would think so badly of me when I have never done anything to him.

Here's my response to him...

Tommy, You have things so twisted in your mind, I'm not sure where to begin. First of all, since when do I care what you think of me? You haven't ever been in my life long enough to matter to me. We share a mother, and that's all. And I treat her a LOT better than you do. You beg for money, and then cuss her out if she doesn't send it. You hang up on her if you don't like what she's saying. You give her grief about visiting you when she's on her way to the boat, not taking into account the THREE facts that make it impossible for her to do so. Fact One: She doesn't go through Manchester, it would be out of her way. It is NOT just 3 hours down the road from our house, try more like 6 1/2 to 8 hours. Fact Two: She catches the boat on a WEDNESDAY, which is NOT a visiting day. Fact Three: She's catching the boat!! Which means she's in the COMPANY VAN, and doesn't have the option of stopping to visit an inmate in a Federal prison while the rest of the crew sits and waits on her. For real... are you that ignorant? I want to address the issue you bring up about Mom staying in the basement like a prisoner. First of all, how can she even be considered a prisoner when she has the option and free will to do whatever she wants? Go where ever she wants? Hardly a prisoner. Two: I don't make her climb the stairs. In fact, I carry her supper plate to her a lot of nights, to save her from having to get up off the computer and coming upstairs. She does come upstairs now and then, because she enjoys our company. Imagine that.. she ENJOYS our company. Enough said. Three: She has a phone in her room and she uses it. She can call the house number and it will ring through so I can answer it and talk to her. Or she sends me a message online, if we are both on the computer. This is usually to save her a trip upstairs for a drink, or some other little thing that I can do for her. Mom doesn't mind staying in the basement. She has the biggest bedroom in the house. And she says she doesn't want to stay in the room that Dad died in. It has too many memories for her. She gets better sleep downstairs, because it is cooler, and she can breathe easier in the cooler air. She has a space heater under her desk in case she feels a little too cool while playing the computer. We have offered to stay in the basement, but she doesn't want to give up her room. She has a private bathroom, and we are remodeling an area to be a kitchenette for her so she can have a small fridge and cooktop to be more independent whenever she feels like it. Now on to the other issues. You say I am lying about your bail and my car. Several of my co-workers remember this incident because of the scene you caused at my workplace. You were asking anybody and everybody for money to put up for your bail. When I told you I couldn't, you called me a cold-hearted bitch. You didn't even bother asking WHY I couldn't. I'll tell you now. At the time, my car already had a lien against it, for it's full value. I couldn't have squeezed even another $100 out of it. But aside from that, why would I have wanted to? You were still pretty much a stranger to me, and your track record wasn't all that great. I wasn't about to risk my car for you. You know, and I know, that YOU are the one lying about this, and I don't even know why. It's stupid. So what? You asked me for bail money. You were asking everybody. I don't even blame you, I would probably have done the same thing in your place. I just wasn't able to help you at that time. No need to twist the truth and call me a liar. Mom and my sisters remember the incident too, because I told them about it at the time. You're not fooling anyone but yourself. My garden? Yeah, it did great this year. We had corn, tomatoes, black-eyed peas, squash, pumpkins, watermelon, cantaloupe, and hot peppers. Who told you I didn't put one out? We are still getting tomatoes out of it, it's ridiculous how many of them we've had so far. Couldn't get off my lazy ass, huh? Wow, you really are clueless. Chickens and Rabbits. Okay, again... where do you get your information, because this one is just retarded. We said we wanted chickens, never said we were GETTING chickens. And we never said anything about stinking rabbits. I can't stand them. Nasty creatures. Whoever is feeding you this line of crap is just wanting you to look stupid. Really. Either that are you are just making things up and twisting things around to whatever you want to believe. (which I believe you do, anyway) As for my own run-in with the law... I don't really care what you think. It upsets me that you think my children should be taken away from me. What about your own daughter? How long was it before you even ever claimed her? How old was she? The rest of the family certainly didn't even know about her until she was grown. Were you ashamed? Or were you just a bad father? So don't talk to me about my children. You don't have the right to even speak of them. You are NOTHING to them. Now to the last issue. Stealing Mom's money. Seriously. I don't do dope. Having children tends to make you get your priorities straight. I put money INTO her account, why would I steal it? I live here too. Not having the money to pay bills affects me too. Duh. It makes no sense to think I would be the one taking it. Besides, we know who did it. Not that it is any of your business. Keep your nose out of things that don't even matter to you. It is too funny how you think you have a right to even ask about things that go on here. You have NO RIGHT! We don't care about your opinions. We don't care about anything you say. I felt the need to write to you just to let you know, I DON'T CARE! Hate my guts? Good for you. You are the one suffering for that, not me. I laugh about it. Even called up my sisters and laughed with them about it. To think that you hate me is just a joke really. I haven't ever done anything to you, so why you hate me I can't even fathom. But really, when it all boils down to the bare bones of it... it just doesn't matter. Oh, and I just wanted to let you know, don't bother calling the house again. You have mom's cell phone number, use it. I live here too, and because of the way you've treated this family, including my mother and father, you have LOST the privilege of calling the house. I will be blocking the number the next time you call. Yes, it is a PRIVILEGE to be able to call. It's not something that is a God-given right. You have abused this family enough. I'm tired of seeing Mom cringe every time we see that number on the caller ID. I would do anything for her. And if blocking your calls will bring her peace, then I'm doing it. In closing, I wanted to say one more thing. You ended your letter with: "You started something with me your not gonna win." I wanted to respond with: What kind of game are YOU playing? I'm not trying to "win" anything. Get over yourself, dude. You sound really pathetic. I still don't understand why you hate me so much. It confuses me. I repeat that I haven't done anything to you that I'm aware of. I babysat for you and Carol when you lived in Oakton. I didn't turn you in to the cops when I KNEW you were smoking dope and breaking your parole. You act like I'm lazy, and don't help out. You act like you were treated so badly when you were a kid. Seriously? You're trying to cop out like that? Yes, I've had to push mow the yard. The entire yard. ALL SUMMER. I enjoyed it. I love getting out and mowing the yard, knowing that I'm helping out by doing something to keep the house in order. How long did you have to push mow? With the self-driven Yazoo, by the way. I've heard all about it. Poor little Tommy. Had to mow the yard a total of what? One or two times? Come off it, you're not fooling anyone. Everyone gets spanked as a kid. You're crying STILL? because of being spanked ONE time? Are you really that much of a baby? Grow up and be a MAN! Take responsibility for your actions and stop blaming everyone else. Once you start acting like a normal human being, instead of a spoiled brat baby, maybe Mom wouldn't have to cry when she gets off the phone after you chew her out for NOTHING. I swear, you really take the cake when it comes to being the one who hurts mom, and acting like you don't care about her. I can understand that you are bored in prison. I have no clue what it must be like. I see movies, but I know they don't paint the real picture. Honestly Tommy, I harbor no hate against you. It's not in my nature to hate anyone. I might hold a grudge for awhile, but I usually let it go, because it's not healthy. If you can explain to me (without lying or making things up and twisting the truth) exactly WHY you hate me, then maybe we can get over it, and be brother/sister to each other. I've never had a brother. I don't know what to expect out of one, except for what you've shown me so far: Animosity, jealousy, hatred, backstabbing, and abuse. Is that what a brother does? If you can't be civil, and act like a normal human being, don't bother writing me again. I will burn the letter and wash my hands of you. I don't need you in my life. But if you can calm down and act rational, then I can promise I'm a better letter-writer than mom. LOL. I'm actually still debating about blocking your calls. It will all depend on YOU, and how YOU act. Act like a fool, and you will be blocked.

And yeah, I say to him that he doesn't matter to me, but it's ridiculous how he thinks he has the right to say ANYTHING to me about ANYTHING.

So now that I think about it, my letter seems a bit long-winded. I'm also thinking about using this as a response:

Who ARE you? Why do you keep harassing my family?